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Saturday, June 23, 2007

Comments

Sharie

Sandra,
I finally read the article you referred to in this post. I started to cry and Amelia crawled up next to me and said, "I love you mama." Every child should have a mama!

tracy

If only I could get there....

Thanks for sharing your feelings, it spoke to my heart deeply.

Sheryl

What a great post. I often have the same thoughts/feelings myself. I couldn't have said it any better. Adopting has changed our lives in so many wonderful ways, but the most significant change that took me by surprise was the overwhelming responsibility (guilt) I feel towards the children left behind.

It just happens that the author of that book has a daughter from the same orphanage as my daughter (Wuwei SWI). That is how I found out about the book and am waiting for it to arrive. Can't wait to read it.

Sheryl

What a great post. I often have the same thoughts/feelings myself. I couldn't have said it any better. Adopting has changed our lives in so many wonderful ways, but the most significant change that took me by surprise was the overwhelming responsibility (guilt) I feel towards the children left behind.

It just happens that the author of that book has a daughter from the same orphanage as my daughter (Wuwei SWI). That is how I found out about the book and am waiting for it to arrive. Can't wait to read it.

Sheryl

What a great post. I often have the same thoughts/feelings myself. I couldn't have said it any better. Adopting has changed our lives in so many wonderful ways, but the most significant change that took me by surprise was the overwhelming responsibility (guilt) I feel towards the children left behind.

It just happens that the author of that book has a daughter from the same orphanage as my daughter (Wuwei SWI). That is how I found out about the book and am waiting for it to arrive. Can't wait to read it.

Jill

I will read this later on this evening. I read your post though, and find it interesting that some people would have had a different view about the orphanage where Tallie is from. I guess people like to see what they want to.

andie

Wow...so touching. I have such a hard time looking at the pictures because I know there is nothing I can do but pray. Financially, we ar unable (at this time) to add to our family...and it just breaks my heart to see all the little ones with no mommy to love them. My mom emailed me after I was particularly heartbroken...she told me that I was doing the best I could, and that I could not save the world. That helped, but it also made me feel a bit hopeless.
Blessings-Andie

Juliette

Thanks again fo a great post. Maƫlle's SWI was too far away from Changsha so we did not go visit it and most of the kids from her SWI are in foster homes.
But I did look at some pictures on the website of A Child's Right and I could not stop crying and wondering why so many kids are still living in some bad conditions (without proper water to drink in that case) when so many parents are waiting for them and why so many older kids are still there?
I always say to people we are the lucky one to have our daughter when they say she is so lucky to have us, but I understand why they think that way.
About a comment to your post from another mom: what about non christian homes? Why does it make a difference as long as the child is getting the love and care he/she did not have in China or elswhere. I am Christian too but really, I don't understand this kind of comment.

Connie

Breaks my heart.

Sandra, thanks for sharing the touching post.

Gail

My daughter was from the same SWI that Tahlia was from and I have to TOTALLY agree with you about the neglect.
My daughter was severly delayed.
I am so thankful that she is here with me to give her all the opportunities she needs to develope into the wonderful person that she is.
I am now LID 1-5-06 and constantly pray that my daughter is somewhere safe and that she is being held and comforted while I wait for her to come home.

Becky B

Don't you just wish you could get others to understand?!?! There would be SO many less babies without homes!! They are blessings!

Keri

I feel the exact same way. Our daughter has been home with us for a little over 6 months now and I still tear up looking at her. The whole process of how she became our daughter (and almost didn't) is so miraculous. She is truly God's gift to us. I still think about all those left behind to live in the orphanages. I can't help them all, but I do choose to sponsor a child to live in a foster home. It only costs me $40 a month. I get updates and pictures and I have to say that the little girl we are sponsoring is so adorable. Her foster family truly seems to love her so much. If only all the orphans of China could have this. (I am using the Grace and Hope Foundation for my sponsorship.)

Keri

Joannah

This brings tears to my eyes.

For the last year I've felt like I'm on the wrong side of a tall fence. I know I could do something for those on the other side if I could just get over the fence...

PandaMom

Very interesting. I am constantly thanking God, but wonder at the same time WHY my daughter is here and others go to nonChristian homes or don't get chosen at all, but rather have to stay in those awful places.

My friend at Hunan Spice did the question meme you did with your daughter and I just did it, too. FUNNY and SWEET! Thanks for sharing with us! ; )

mia

Hi Sandra, I stumbled upon your blog awhile back. With your earlier post about wanting to know who was visiting your blog and this one, I decided to come out of 'hiding.' :) My husband and I have only very, very briefly discussed adoption, but for now we are not ready to add to our family. This post brought tears to my eyes. You so eloquently described everything. I just want to tell you that I love your story and how you tell it. Your blog is so refreshing, and your honesty does so much to help other mothers (and fathers, I'm sure) out there. Thank you for sharing.

Janet T.

Humbling is a perfect word. Perfect.

Sharie

Sandra,
I pray for those children we visited at Yangchun every day. I will never get over that trip and I never want to. I thank God every day that I had that opportunity to see how Amelia spent her first 9 months.
As you know I was the only one who took their baby back to Yangchun to visit. I was so thankful that I did. I had a chance to see how truly excited the Nannys were that she had her forever home. I also think it helped Amelia trust me.
I believe that our girls are simply different and so how they reacted to their experience at Yangchun was different. It was nearly a year before Amelia quit hoarding food. She still doesn't sleep well and has night terrors. We didn't bond fully for six months (although I think part of that was me going back to work so soon).
I guess what I'm trying to say is that every child is different, so the way they react to their experience in the SWI is different. Don't let anyone discount what you know in your heart life was like for your girls in their first months without you.
Sharie

Stefanie

I am just crying because I feel the exact same way. My heart just breaks....I read the same article. I'm so ready to get on a plane and bring home another daughter.....I just hope it is possible. Bringing Sophia home changed my life forever!

Judy

It is so very emotional, isn't it. I couldn't visit the orphanage either, but a few of the dads in our group went. Our children were fortunate to be in the Half the Sky program and came to us healthy and after 3 months, everyone seems to be on track.

Most of the babies are still having sleep issues, Kallie included, but I think over time the babies will get more secure and sleep will come easier for them.

My heart breaks for all the children still waiting for their forever families.

Tammie

I admit to being terrified of visiting Erin's home for the first 10 months of her life.

Back when we traveled, our guide told us we could arrange for a trip to Yangchun. The director was very willing to have parents visit the children even though it wasn't a common practice. The ride was a long one, & with SARS going on, the 6 families who adopted from Yangchun decided against the trip. I was relieved that everyone agreed to not visit. I cry at Hallmark commercials so the thought of seeing all the children in cribs with no one to love & hug them tore at my heart.

I will admit that David & I got very lucky. Erin was alert & ready & waiting to be loved. The only issues we have really had are sleep & her absolute terror of bathtime & swimming. Not everyone who adopted at that time was as lucky with their transition. One baby had problems with bonding. She was constantly crying & screaming & couldn't be put down. Another baby had obviously spent most if not all of her time in a crib. Both girls are amazingly happy children now.

What would have happened if these girls hadn't been united with their forever families? I don't know. However, I do know that I fear for the children who have been left behind.

As always, you give us something to think about Sandra.

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