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Thursday, May 08, 2008

Comments

lisa

What the hell?! I swear some people shouldn't even leave th house to deal with others of the human race. How insensitive! But, based on her response to you, she sounds like a bumbling idiot anyway, so don't be too hurt by it. Just shows how dumb she really is. Some people should just keep their mouths closed all the time. You are just as much a mom - if not more so - as ANY OTHER WOMAN who has children of her own!

carol

oh this makes my blood boil. I can't believe the bizarreness of some people.

Whenever i hear this kind of crap I try to remember that this person is likely VERY messed up if they have to make a distinction like that.

Steffie

Oh Sandra.....I am so sorry...I'm glad you approached her and let your feelings out. How completely rude and just plain stupid for her to say that. Maybe she needs the
"some Moms are dumb" award!

christi

This happened to me twice this week, although not directly as it did to you. Someone was explaining to another child that I was not Abbey's "real mom". Good for you that you stood up and said something. I realize now that I need to go back to the person and tell them how that made me feel. I hate for Abbey to hear any of that now that she understands more. I am as real of a mom as you can get and so are you.

Francine

OMG!!!! I can't believe someone can say such a thing. How insensitive and rude. A mother is a mother. You are real and the best mom to Jazzie and Tahlia. Don't even question it. As always, so polite. I don't know if I would be that nice if I experienced something like that.

Daleea

As I read this post my mouth dropped open and I gasped! I was livid... I was hurt for you and for your daughters and for my children as well... because it is this mentality that makes our children think there is something wrong with them. That they are not just as special as the children that are with their biological parents.... then it made me sad.... I guess when it comes down to it... we should be oh, so thankful that we are not one of the absolutely ignorant people who just don't get it... I would rather be hurt by someone's thoughtlessness and ignorance than be the one hurting.

Sarah

This person is a complete idiot and rude. For her not to apologize after you told her about your feelings about her remarks, but to instead continue reiterating her wrong viewpoint is just plain rude.

I think you have a few options here: 1) avoid this woman like the plague 2) stop participating in this group since no one else took offense to this statement or spoke up 3) educate the group in a future session: possibly mention her comment to the group and discuss the definition of "mom."

I'm really sorry you had to deal with that level of ignorance.

David

Hello, My wife sent me your link as we are fake parents to two beautiful little girls too. We chose to go through more than most DNA related parents in order to make our family what God wanted it to be through the magnificent, unbelievable gift of adoption. Thankfully God our Heavenly Father who adopted us into His family considers himself our father. Our REAL father. Just like you are a REAL mother. But the truth is it really doesn't matter what me or that lady or anyone else thinks. Jazzie and Tahlia know who their Mom is and after all they are the ones who really count. Happy Mother's Day Mom!!

Heather

Sandra,

I don't think I've ever commented here on your blog and truth be told, I've barely been here more than a few times (don't know how your awesomeness your escaped me for so long...). But I was just chatting with Stacy and she told me to come here and read about what was said to you, and all I could repeat over and over again, out loud, was "OH MY GOD". You know, just when I'm sure I've heard it all, I read about something like this and am sadly mistaken. I just wanted to let you know that I think you handled it with a grace that I wouldn't have been able to find in that moment. Kudos to you, and hugs too.

Dale

That woman is an absolute idiot. She obviously does not know the definition of a mother. She must live under a rock! Has she never known a single family with an adopted child? That's all I can say.....Except good job on sticking up for yourself and all of us. I would have wanted to be much much more rude ( :

Katherine

Well I am the mom of an adopted and a biological child, and I can tell you from over 35 years of experience, you love both of them and there is no "adopted" / "biological" difference. You just love them and help them grow up to be great human beings. I wish I could sit down with that lady and tell her she has no idea what she is talking about. I don't know whether to feel sorry for her or want to thrown something at her. People are so stupid sometimes.

Kristen

I actually cried when I read your post. Unbelievable, insensitive and cruel all combined with ignorance. Good for you for approaching her and letting her know.

Julia

I find it amazing when people make comments like that, it's like they live inside a little box where everything has to look a certain way, never opening their eyes to all the possibilities in the world. I think you're right to feel a little sorry for her and good for you for talking to her about it.

Mary Beth in A'dam

Me again. Even Charles Dickens in 1859, in writing Tale of Two Cities, knew about Real Moms - he writes in Ch 7,Par 7, about some women who don't want to be identified as moms "except for the mere act of bringing a troublesome creature into this world - which DOES NOT GO FAR TOWARDS THE REALISATION OF THE NAME OF MOTHER...."
Happy Mother's Day!

Kayce

I am so impressed with your outlook on this, inspirational you are!

Catherine

I gasped right out loud when I read your post! Poor woman.

Sorry you had to go through that. If you have her email address I'd email a copy of this post to her. Hopefully your educating her could help her from hurting others in the future.

Christina

wow. people are dumb. If I had been there, I would have said something unpleasant to her whether she was talking to me or not, and I'm not even a mom! How rude! Some people just never get it and I feel sorry for them!

JLauryn

Well, you may not be angry, but I am. That lady is beyond stupid and I'd love to know exactly which ROCK she is living uder. I am neither a mom nor an "adoptive mom" and I can believe how that remark has my blood boiling. Some people are too stupid to breed.

Val

I think you handled it very lady-like and the shock of it probably stunned you as well. Her explanation made it worse!

Pug Mama

you are a far bigger woman than me. I would have gotten ghetto.

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