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Tuesday, November 25, 2008



I stumbled upon your blog from the Darius Rucker song and I have read quite a bit of it. This post struck me. I am a foster mom about to adopt two girls (sisters) who have been with me 3 years. I have often thought I don't know if I could have loved them if they were ugly, so I understand your feelings/thoughts.
She is one beautiful little girl, far from ugly! I sure do understand though, I think it was meant to be. God had a plan!
God Bless.


I have read your blog for a while now but I really don't comment (yes a lurker). I just wanted to tell you I admire your honesty : ) Your daughter's are so beautiful!!! I really enjoy your blog.


That is why I love your blog so much. You are so honest on it. Everything isn't always peaches 'n cream, it drives me crazy when people pretend like it is.

Pug Mama

I have always loved and admired your complete and absolute honesty.
you Rock.


What a beautiful and heartfelt post. Love is not always instant - but so sweet when it is allowed to grow and mature into something so beautiful.
Parenting is always such an interesting (and very humbling!)adventure - thank you so much for your honesty.


Sandra.....this was a wonderful post....I had similar feelings after having Daniel....and now I can't imagine my life without my sweet boy who has captured my heart and soul.....Tahlia is your very own special blessing and gift and the most important thing know that....have a wonderful Thanksgiving sweet girl....


I had very similar feelings about my second girl as well. I've only begin to be able to articulate them without feeling horribly guilty because now I love her so completely those feelings seem like they belonged to someone else. Just the other night I realized that I would rather die than think of her not being my sweet baby.
Thanks for sharing.


What a sweet face!

Sue B

Thank you again for sharing your feelings about Tahlia's referral and early days home. How wonderful that today your relationship is full of love!! Enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend with your two little blessings!


What a precious picture and even more precious post. Your honesty is so refreshing. I hope you and your beautiful family have a great Thanksgiving.

How is Jazzie doing without all those teeth?


The honesty & openess of your post blows me away. Each pregnancy, bio or paper, is different. Each birth is different. Each child is different. The only constant is who we are. You are the same loving, open person I've known since the beginning.


This is such a wonderful post. Love sometimes does take time. But when it does finally come, it is so wonderful - there really aren't any words to describe it.


I ABSOLUTELY love your honesty. I feel like I have bonded well with Jeane, but it is hard for me with Adam. He is just such a different kid. It is so encouraging to read that in time, it will come. It's hard not to try and force it.


I've been reading your blog silently for some time now. I am always touched by your honesty. Thank you for sharing with the rest of the adoption world that things aren't always immediately "happily ever after." It is comforting to know that there is hope even in difficult situations!
Kylie and Caleb's mommy


I think that is my favorite pic of Tahlia ever! She was worth all the tough times.


This post brought tears.
A truthful and loving post.
I understand not having immediate love for your child and feeling guilty or that there is something wrong with you.

I feel that the love that continues to grow (even during difficult times) is the strongest love ever.


I think that sometimes we adoptive parents study and learn so much about attachment from our child's point of view that we forget that it's a two way street. I would definitely say that it took me a few months to really attach to my daughter and to me, that makes sense. We met and fell in love as we got to know each other. My husband says that for him, it was instant, but it wasn't for me. I immediately felt that mommy instinct to care for her, but I don't think I truly loved her until I got to know her, a little more day by day. I will say thought that when I saw her picture, she immediately looked so familiar to me. There was a connection from the beginning, but love grew. Actually, I would say the same about my biological child...the connection grew deeper and stronger as we got to know each other. Thanks for your honesty!


Your honesty is so refreshing! Tahlia is blessed to have you as her mommy and you are blessed to have her as your daughter!


I've always appreciated your honesty, Sandra. I love that you and Tahlia have grown to know and love each other so deeply. She's a peach!


This post is why your blog is my fav and the first one I go to when I check all of the blogs I follow. Your honesty about your feelings is a gift to those in the adoption community who are struggling. I myself struggled with some of the same issues when we brought our daughter home and it makes you feel so alone. Some of the blogs (although I enjoy getting a glimpse into some of the fabulous homes and perfectly and expensively dressed children) this is not my life. My daughter is the joy of our existence and we are absolutely crazy about her - but we did struggle at first. Anyway, again, I love your blog. Thanks for sharing and helping us all!

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