Sigh...

"I wish I wasn't deaf and I wish you didn't give me a second implant"...

These words were spoken by Jazzie the other day and they were hard to swallow. This whole second cochlear implant thing has been so different from the first time around and it has not been easy for my girl.

We are still having some minor trouble with her incision. It is still pretty red and there is still a stitch sticking out that hasn't dissolved yet. Her ENT offered to take it out when we saw him on Monday, but Jazzie didn't want to have anything to do with that. She wants nobody messing with that ear, not even her ENT whom she loves. On top of that I got a phone call from Jazzie's old school yesterday (they come to her current school and work with Jazzie once a week) to let me know that she is not hearing correctly with her new implant at all. Even though it is still considered to be early after surgery to expect much of anything as far as her hearing is concerned, she was hearing certain sounds before that she is not hearing now.

So I made an appointment with the audiologist for Jazzie to be re-mapped this afternoon. A map is like a computer program that makes her hear sounds. I will have to take her out of school again for this, right after I had to take her out of school early on Monday to see her ENT about that stitch.

I know that things will get better in time and that it is still early, but all this trouble my girl has had to endure and her saying that she wishes I hadn't given her a second implant, almost makes me wish I hadn't. Almost...

Comments

[Diana]

I am truly sorry..
Hugs!!

[Nicole]

Oh, Sandra. I feel for you. The second implant alone can be a challenge without all of the extra "stuff" you guys have had to deal with. It WILL get better and she will eventually be happy to have the second implant... I'm sure of it. Love you guys!

[Connie]

Hugs to you, strong friend. The time will come when this challenging transition is a distant memory for both of you.

I hope the remapping appointment went well.

[Steffie]

Oh Sandra....I'm so sorry...hang in there...it will get better...I will keep her in my prayers and jot her down in my prayer journal....

Hugs,
Steffie

[Lydia]

(((Hugs!)))

It breaks my heart just reading those words spoken by Jazzie... I believe yours too...

About the stitch that is sticking out, it have to be removed. I believe the dissolving stitches would only dissolved if it is still in the flesh... I had a small incision from ligation and the stitch sticks out too, my doctor just pulled and snapped it out without blinking and the wound just healed in no time. I'm not telling you to do that, but get it checked. Something just need to be done with that stick out stitch.

Also, about Jazzie's incision, I was wondering(since Jazzie had that 2nd infection) maybe she need to always tie-up her hair to air the incision part, what you think?

I'll remember you guys in my bed-time prayer!! :):)

Btw, you did the right thing about the 2nd implant, it just needed time to work out :)

(((((((((HUGS BIG TIME!!)))))))))

[betty]

hey, don't be upset. I believe she will accept the second implant in soon. Because she is six years old girl and she will hear as well the right one after the re-mapped.

Because the mapping for implant will get better than old mapping as I did. Mapping is very important....for CI.

Hope both of you will be fine :)

If had 2nd implant when over 7 years old, should be more uncomfortable and more different.

So you are right and do well on decision for Jazzie! Believe me :)

Have good day!

Betty

[Jennifer]

The dissolving stitches will have a really hard time going away. They meant to stay under the skin and with the body's moisture, very slowly, dissolve. I would do your best to coax her to have the piece removed. I had foot surgery and for a good month it still hurt and it turned out I had a nice piece of stitch still hanging out and once it was removed, things got better.

Good luck!

[Tammie]

I really hate that Jazzie is still having problems with the implant. I know that one day she will appreciate it all.

[lisa]

Sorry to hear that she is still having some problems......Lets hope that the re-mapping will work for her....Sending prayers and positive thoughts:)

Lisa

[Two Kayaks]

Sandra,
I'm so sorry. It must be hard to hear those things and to wonder about how she is doing all the time. When things happen where it seems like a tough situation right now, I try to remember that this is "short term $*^% for long term gain". This is just the short term stuff that will eventually lead to good things.
Best of luck with the mapping.

[Sharie]

I don't have any advice - I can just offer a virtual hug - I know you and Matt made the best decision with the information you had and I know Jazzie is one very determined little girl who will get through this!

[robin]

So sorry that you had to hear from Jazzie that she wishes she didn't have the second implant. Don't second guess yourself. I imagine that once everything settles in, the benefits of two implants will be much better or you wouldn't have even considered this in the first place. I'll be sending prayers your way for healing and understanding.

[michelle]

Ouch, Sandra, I know those words from Jazzie hurt. But you are doing what you think is best for her. Hopefully once everything heals and she is remapped things will get better.

I haven't forgotten about your question to me on my blog...I will answer you, I promise

[Joannah]

I feel for both of you.

[Briana's Mom]

I am so sorry. Thinking of you both.

[Gretchen]

Ugh, sorry to hear Jazzie feels that way. I know this has been a difficult decision but you made it with her best interests at heart. Hopefully, when the incision is fully healed and the mapping issues are resolved, she'll have a different take on it. She's an amazing girl!!!

[Magi]

I think the hardest thing I've found about parenting is making decisions that you know are right for your child in the long run even when the short term makes them unhappy. You are doing what you think is best. I hope that this adjustment period hurry ups and adjusts already!

[Julia]

I think you can make yourself crazy guessing and second-guessing decisions we have to make concerning our kids. Based on how well the first implant went, it was only realistic to think the second would go as smoothly. Keep your chin up (and Jazzie's too) and I have no doubt you both will come through this with flying colors... it just takes a while to get there. Hugs.

[3D]

I am not in a position to offer advice but I can say that you are an amazing mom and you do all you can for your girls.

Hugs!

Keep smilin!

[Polar Bear]

Hugs! to you both.