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Friday, March 20, 2009


Sue B

LOVE the photo of you with your girl!!!
I always enjoy reading your thoughtful posts. And this post is no exception. I can't imagine what you went through for 18 months. And yes, bottling things up for so long had to effect you long after things got better. Congrats on losing the weight! And here's to many happy days ahead with your little lovebug!

Polar Bear

When I first read this post (the day you posted) it brought me to tears. I read it again today and am again teary. I love that you can be so honest. You are helping me, many others.

I can't imagine the pain you went through. Thank you for sharing this. I love you my friend.


What a great post. I can relate to being one of those people and I let it interfere with my parenting waaaayyyy too often. (And I imagine I'm not so fun to be around at those times...shhhh....)

Congrats on the weight loss! I've used to lose weight in the past. It's a free site with tons of tools and resources. I have several co-workers who switched from WW to sparkpeople because it was free and had many of the same features (I've never tried WW so I don't know the differences). Either way, good luck!

The last picture of you and Tahlia is just precious!

Very powerful post !!

LOVE all your photos but I love the last one of you and Tahlia the best.


Sandra - thank you SO much for this beautiful post. YOU are one of the people I mentioned in my last post, because you were there so much for me when I came home from China. I had so many of the same issues with her that you did with T. It was so hard, I never ever thought I would get thru it. And I DO still have so many guilt feelings because I felt so angry at the time. Angry and Jim, and Hannah. All I wanted to do was do things my way, and what the heck was I thinking? I so regret some of the things I did or did not do... it haunts me sometimes. SO thank you for being so honest.

Briana's Mom

Briana has driven me crazy this week. Just when I thought this week was over, she threw up on me tonight. Sigh...

I don't like not being in control either. I really need to work on letting things go...


Maybe that's why this year has been one of the hardest of my life. I couldn't be in control of what was going on with Adam and Jeane, because I really didn't know them. It was SO hard to get to know them. I can honestly say that it is only now that we are finally getting on track. I have been trying to think of how to post about it but I think it is SO important to do it. Because as adoptive parents we NEED to talk about it so we don't feel so stinking alone.


The whinning I think is the time of year - Amelia is driving me bonkers!
As far as the challenges you faced with Tahlia when you came home. I can only imagine how hard it was for you, for her, for Matt and for Jazzie. Amelia and I had our struggles too, but after 6 months she started sleeping through the night and the night terrors subsided.

I know what you mean though about being so tired...I was SOOO tired. I didn't have the depression, probably because I was already medicated and my doctor was watching for it. I do still have the guilt - mostly because I didn't recognize until months later that she was having trouble bonding - I felt so guilty that I had to go back to work so soon after getting home and that she had to go to daycare and seemed to know her sitter better than me. I still remember lookin at a photo from Christmas of 2005 and seeing that far away look in her eyes - months after the adoption and realized - she didn't bond for months. It broke my heart!
We all have things that hurt or that we feel guilty about - the best way to get through them is to talk to others.


Isn't it amazing when you read something and it just clicks. Those flashes of insight are just amazing. You went through some tough stuff, but your love shines so brightly.


Thank you so much for this... I read this post and have been trying to formulate a comment, but I have too many words and thoughts that I had no idea how I could possibly summarize what's in my head. In the interim, Connie posted what I think are perfect words that I can absolutely say for myself as well. I *am* that excerpt, 100%. I have so much to say about this and I feel like my comment is completely lame, but I have no abbreviated version of my thoughts about this topic. Connie really did put it so well... Just know that we are out there, those of us "like you", and we're all here to lean on each other. Hugs to you my friend... you're a fabulous mother who I strive to be like with my own mothering. And I too admire your strength more than you know... hugs...


You really have a way with words. You made me *feel* your fustration, your pain - and be able to empathize. Right now I'm going through a similar situation (not with a child or anything) and all I want is empathy and validation.


Things are going well here for now but that post just put me into tears (a cathartic kind).

I see myself completely in your words. Completely. The excerpt is ALL me too.

Give yourself the credit due for getting through that time of hell and growing two young girls who are a happy reflection of their loving home.

Sandra, my path has become so much easier in just a bit over a week...unbelievably so. My heart just breaks at the thought of anyone going through what you did for so long. I don't know a soul alive who would not carry some wounds from is just a matter of allowing the wounds to heal over time.

I have to chuckle on a level because you spent time angry with Matt and I spent time angry that I had no 'Matt' to help while at the same time not wanting help one could have soothed the beast of last week. I had to prove I could do it...over the short haul anyway. Much longer and I would have been begging for reinforcements.

I admire your strength, more than you know. I understand the guilt about dark feelings (already been there) but we are human. Never underestimate yourself because the amazing far outweighs the hard stuff.

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