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Sunday, November 29, 2009

Comments

Paula

Please get professional help from a trained therapist for Jazzie. Find someone who specializes in kids with disabilities. These comments are a cry for help. I'm sorry, but living with a disability like deafness is not the same as having red hair. If your previous oral school can't recommend someone, please call AGBell and ask them for a recommendation. Loving someone a lot does not make problems like this go away. You need professional help to deal with this.

Lori

It is hard being different. Look for people that Jazzie can relate to. I am 37 and to this day I still look for redheaded dolls or characters in books, TV and movies. My nephew was the same with finding people who wore glasses. Let her have her sad times... she'll get through it all. In the end I am sure Jazzie will end up a much more compassionate person because of what she has been through.

Laura

My heart goes out to Jazzie so much. I know it's not even close to the same but when I was young I sooooo wished I was not born with red hair - it was so different than everyone else. I felt like I would have done anything to not have my red hair. It upset my mom and dad so much that I hated it like that but they continuously told me that it was what made me who I am and made me special. At some point I started to belive them and now I embrace my red hair - and my mom was right - it's part of what makes me me. I am sure you will find the right words for Jazzie. Have a great day!

Rhonda

it's heartbreaking to read about Jazzie's comments. I know it doesn't compare, but my son has a lot of attention and impulse control issues, which often leads to behaviour he knows is wrong and he feels terrible about afterwards, and then his self esteem takes a big hit - "I'm the worst kid in the world" "I bet you wish I was never born so you didn't have a kid like me" "I wish I could be good like other kids, I hate being the worst kid in my class", etc. Of course I always tell him he's my best kid in the world, and everyone is different - that focusing and impulse control are his things he needs to work on, how great his teachers are at school, all the things they do to help him. I point out all the things he's great at...being a great big brother, funny, excellent in math and reading (far above his grade level). It's hard because I know when he gets older the skills he has will serve him well, it's just getting there which is hard. Jazzie has skills so many adults don't even have from overcoming obstacles in her life so far, she doesn't know it yet but as an adult she will be much better prepared than so many others.

Kate

I will post a link to my blog about my experience of getting a cochlear implant, and it also has some stories about the kids we mentor.

Hope it helps. My heart goes out to you!

http://katelocke.wordpress.com/

Kate

I am a profoundly deaf girl - I started going deaf when I was 11, and I was devastated. But I got over it - and am diong great now - really feel contented...

So, I have started a mentoring program for deaf kids in Australia because I know that if I had had a mentor or someone to look up to who was deaf, it would have been easier for me.

Not sure where you live, but perhaps there is a mentoring program out there for your daughter that might be able to provide her with a role model who is deaf that makes her feel good about it!

Laurie

So sad to hear of her feeling that way. If it would help maybe some of us could send her a note letting her know how amazing we think she is. I think it is awesome all that she has been able to achieve and I honestly had no idea all that was possible for a deaf person. I hope that she is one day able to see that she is exactly how God created her to be and that through her disability God has given her many other amazing abilities.

theresa

As a teacher and parent I understand your concern and heartbreak. From a teachers perspective it sounds like she may be mimicking comments she might be hearing from her peers or feeling left out in the classroom or play field because she misses comments. I also wonder about her self esteem. I would suggest you speak with the school counsellor. She or he may be able to give you some suggestions on how to boost her self confidence or just give some advice.

As a parent, I would suggest you keep loving her and hugging her. Being so young in age and feeling such profound emotions around her disability is something you should not ignore. Good for you for posting this. Hopefully other people will be able to give yous some insight or ideas.

Debby

Sandra...my heart goes out to you both. We've not experienced this yet. However, would it be helpful at all to point out things you wished you could change about yourself, that you can't? Maybe Jazzie would see that it's ok to feel that way sometimes...we all do.
Is there a councelor at OH Voices that could offer some advice or reading material?

I know Jazzie has her BFF, who is also deaf, but if she ever wants a penpal, I know another deaf 7 yr old who would love that......=)

gr8momb2

What heartwrenching things to hear from your child. I think you are doing the right thing, let her deal with her emotions about it, but also point out how bright she is and what the world and your family would be missing without her and her uniqueness. Hugs to you both. Nancy

fabulousmsjess

would it help her to be around other children who are deaf? She used to be one of many at her old school and now she is probably the only deaf kid in her classroom.

Agnes

Ach, sneu toch he ... ja, wat kun je daar op zeggen. Moeilijk hoor. Je kan volgens mij nóg zo vaak zeggen dat zij perfect is maar als ze het zelf niet zo voelt.

Dat heeft YY steeds met het feit dat ze zichzelf niet mooi vindt omdat "ze chinese ogen heeft en chinese haren". Voor ons is ze het prachtigste meisje maar goed ... zelf is ze daar niet van overtuigd.

Begrijp ik uit eerdere log dat jullie een dochter zijn verloren, wat vreselijk zeg!!!! Dat blijft een gemis!

En je had een blog over je bloggen ... blijf doorgaan hoor, ik geniet er steeds van
! Hopelijk ga je door ...

Liefs, Agnes.

M3

What hard things to hear as a mama... Big hugs.

I know Jazzie is way to young to hear/understand this, but as an adult I've always thought that if you changed one thing about your life you'd be changing everything. Sometimes my girlfriends and I in college would play the "if I could erase one thing" game, where you'd say if you could go back and change this one thing that had sucked, what else would be changed as a result, and then what would happen if that next thing were changed, and so on. It was always interesting to follow the exercise through from change to change, and it always ended with us coming to the same conclusion, that we wouldn't go back and change the bad things in our lives, even if we could. I know, way too much for a kiddo, just thought I'd mention it in case it sparked any other ideas.

Lissa

Can Jazzie not be put in touch with a deaf befriender?(deaf adult who has similar needs to Jazzie so Jazzie can see that she can still do what everybody else does, except she has to wear cochlear implants?)

What about being deaf is Jazzie hating at the moment?

 Sharie

What do you say to your baby when she is hurting; other than I love you.

Amy Heymann

Does she know the movie Thumbelina ? Thumbelina wishes she was not small and her mother says no, never wish to be anything but what you are.

Thumbelina is a 1994 American animated film directed by Don Bluth and Gary Goldman

Maybe this could help? I'm sure it's hard to be diffrent, but those differences will allow her to go places other people could never go . My oldest daughter Jessica has autism. This made childhood hard for my other daughter Nicole. But it also made Nicole different in a good way.

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