Wow, I got a lot of responses after I wrote my post named "heartbreaking". Not only here on the blog, but on Facebook as well. I want to once again all my friends who called, e-mailed or texted me that day. I was quite upset then, didn't really know what to make of all of Jazzie's statements and wasn't really sure how to handle it. Your words of encouragement and support meant a lot to me.
Since then I have had time to think about it some more, I have talked to some other parents of children with cochlear implants and to someone at Jazzie's old school. And even though I still have some concerns, I do feel better. When I talked M. at Jazzie's old school, I was told that she has gotten a lot of phone calls over the years from parents with similar stories. It seems to be pretty typical that children like Jazzie feel the way she does. The interesting part is that M. told me that these kind of issues almost always surface in second grade. Normally you wouldn't see self-esteem/self-worth issues until 5th or 6th grade, but for some reason they appear earlier in kids like Jazzie. Not sure why.
M. and I discussed some ideas as how to help Jazzie through this. And even though Jazzie made some strong statements, I do believe that part of it is just normal, age appropriate behavior. The happy behavior FAR outweighs the issues stemming for being deaf and I do not think I need to go as far as saying that Jazzie's statements were a cry for help, as one commenter stated. I do agree with the same commenter however, that being deaf is not the same as having red hair, as another person commented. Of course we all wish that we could change something about ourselves that we don't like, but you cannot compare having to deal with red hair, or being tall (which I hate myself), etc. with being deaf and having cochlear implants. Jazzie has had to overcome SO much and while yes, she is amazing, she is only 7 years old and that is a lot to deal with.
For now I'll keep doing what I have been doing. I will never judge Jazzie's emotions or put her down for feeling sad or angry about being deaf. I will continue to get her together with other kids who are like her. I will continue working with Ohio Valley Voices for as long as they offer services for her. I will continue to be pro-active and not let any comments and/or behaviors slide. I will continue talking to other parents who have been there. And I will continue loving Jazzie and thinking she is the most amazing girl; just like I always have.
A commenter said: "loving someone a lot does not make problems go away". True, but loving someone does give them the confidence to share their emotions. Growing up, I didn't feel like I could talk to my parents about anything. I'll be damned if I have my daughters grow up the same way.
Thanks again to everyone for all your comments. I appreciate them ALL and they gave me a lot to think about.