I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for leaving your insightful comments after my last post. Like I was trying to say, I feel very torn on how to deal with celebrating Gotcha Days. I do agree with those who mentioned that it is different when you have no biological children in the mix. I think that if you do, the child who was adopted might feel really different and might feel that attention is drawn to something that might not be a happy thing to them.
I also agree however, that the day we became a family is something that can be seen as a new beginning for everyone; a happy beginning. I also agree that my girls suffered their loss long before they joined our family. For Tahlia that was the day of her birth. Obviously, I am not going to NOT celebrate her birthday because of that.
I just can't help but have the line from the documentary go through my head: "Adoption is celebrated; abandonment is ignored". I want to honor and celebrate the fact that we became a family. I don't want to let Gotcha Days go by as any other ordinary day. But I also don't want to make too big of a deal about them. That is why I thought that lighting a candle in honor of the birth parents and going out to dinner to a restaurant of the girls' choice would be a good balance. I definitely would like that day to be a more private day. A day that is just for us as a family. As far as the abandonment goes, I don't want to shove the fact that they were abandoned down the girls' throats. I don't want it to be something we dwell on, but I do want it to be out there.
I am really struggling with this. I don't know what is enough, what is too much and what is too little. I guess the only thing I can do is do what I have always done that I know works; following my instincts...
Thanks again. This adoption community is a great place to learn.