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Saturday, May 22, 2010

Comments

jamielauren

I've been reading your blog for YEARS and one of the reasons is because of your honesty. I sometimes feel like I know you [which is odd] because you're so honest. I've read the posts about your PAD and how you struggled but I feel like you've always made it clear that you love and adore Tahlia. I find it strange that this person can't see past those obsticles and onto the good stuff.

Kellie

I love your blog too. If anything, your blog is an inspiration to those going through tough times. In the end, you get through it and it's all worth it. Sometimes when people are having doubts about their decisions, they just need an excuse to validate those doubts. If you are looking for the negative, then that is what you will see. Sorry you were made to feel bad because someone else was apprehensive and unsure about their own life.

Sherrie in HB

Hi Sandra:

As a Mom to two munchkins, I wouldn't give up my day/night job for anything. It was hard in the beginning like you but now that they are both older, raising my two are a lot easier. At first when I read your story, I really felt the person on the end didn't really give it a try but afterward, I fully understand. She made a good choice because what would happen if she had brought the 2nd one home and decided she can't handle 2 little one - that would be really sad.

I have been away but I do come back once in while to catch up. From what I have read so far, you have been really up front with your blog. I am so glad she read your blog to really understand what she will be getting into. Like I said, it was hard at the beginning with two but now, I am really coasting.

Enjoy your blog and love your two munchkins.

ani

I read this post on my phone a couple of days back and wanted to comment so badly... Anyone who has read your blog for a while can tell how much you adore your girls and how those two were meant to be sisters. Was it hard in the beginning, yes... Are there days where its still hard, yes... It happens to all of us parents. The million dollar question is would we change any of it... and from reading your blog I can definitely attest that you would not :-)
Our baby girl came home in September after a 14 month long wait. We were elated, but the sleepless nights, plus a colicky baby, plus taking care of a jealous 4 year old took its toll on me. I was overwhelmed, tired and out of sorts for a while. Would I change any of it? Heck no! Our family is complete and every second of that adjustment period brought us where we are today!

Agnes, Arjen, Tom en Yuan Yuan

Tsja ... ook ik ben altijd eerlijk in mijn blogs en nee, soms is het moeilijk en zwaar. Maar maakt dat het niet leuk? Niet waardevol? Nee, zeker niet. Ook met biologisch eigen kinderen weet je het niet en kun je ze wel eens achter het behang plakken. Om nou aan jou blogs de beslissing op te hangen? Heeeeel vreemd! En ga lekker zo door met bloggen ;-)

Liefs, AGnes.

kim

I am sorry to hear that your reader changed her mind - but please don't feel it was because of reading you! She obviously had issues with it already.
Also, I just wanted to mention - i have two biological children, and we had LOTS of trauma when we came home with #2 as well - happens under all circumstances when you add a new member of the family - and eventually everyone gets past it!

Kayce

Surprise is right! Your blog has ALWAYS encouraged me AND my husband to adopt again and we will, that I know. You are always so open and honest and that is what makes the difficult times for some of us easier....we know we are not alone.

Perrin

Wow, that is really surprising. I've read your blog for a long time and can only see honesty and love in your family, along with your two beautiful children. Also, being a mom to 2 from China I am also pretty open about not everything being sunshine and roses upon adopting, but for us it has been the very best decision we have ever made. I appreciate your candidness.

Linda V

Wow, she took the wrong message from your story. As an adoptive mother of 2 myself, there are hard times whenever you add to a family; but, the rewards are so worth the work. Our two daughters are very different, but we all grow from the differences and we now celebrate and enjoy both their personalities. There were difficult times, but I can't imagine not having them both in our lives!

lorie

Wow.
I'm a long time reader but don't comment oftern but just want to let you know that I appreciate the candidness of your blog.

As a mom to a 17 month old adopted from Ethiopia, I know that it's not all sunshine and roses like some blogs like to portray.

Thank you for being honest and open about your feelings and experiences.And PLEASE keep blogging!!

Lorie
mum to Xavier home 10 months

lisa

I saw your status on FB the other day and was SHOCKED!! Oh my word....anyone that follows you has to see that the good and happy times far outweigh the bad and sad. Yes, you have been honest, but in comparison those were small bumps in the road that we as adoptive or preadoptive parents need to be prepared to deal with. To me, your stories have made me research and learn as much as I can so that if I am in your situation, I will be equipped to deal with it. Never once have I read one of your posts and felt like I could not move forward or that it scared me........

Like others have said, this person was not ready to grow her family. I am sure you took this kind of personally at first, but try not to let it get to you and keep doing what you do!!

xo,

Lisa

Sharie

As was said on Facebook - this person wasn't ready to grow her family. Perhaps your blog was the final thing that helped her realize that - but I'm pretty sure she was having other doubt before hand. Of course I am just presuming.
If a person isn't prepared to work through the hard times then really they aren't ready to parent...
There will be an adjustment with any new child in a family - even in the best case scenario. A child with PTSD certainly made adjusting harder - and PAD was yet another thing to overcome.
I think if anything this person is lucky she realized prior to bringing another child into her family that she wasn't ready to now.

Kristen

Oh boy! I've commented a few times on your blog and have read it quite regularly for a long time. It was partly because of your blog that we decided to adopt a second child. I just saw those two cuties together and knew in my heart that we needed two as well.

It was also from reading your blog that I realized just what PAD was and when I experienced it with our second child, I was empowered instead of scared. Please know that there is one family out here that you helped:)

Janet T.

Oh, that makes me sad......yes, adoption can be SO hard. PARENTING can be hard! But does it mean it's not worth it? Would we go back and change anything? No! So sad that she had to focus on the bad. But frankly, if she is unwilling to accept the bad and unable to handle it, should it come, then perhaps it is better that she doesn't?

I have written many times about our struggles. It has been VERY hard at times! Wouldn't you rather have KNOWN that what you were going through was normal? Or at least, had happened to many others? I know I would rather hear the truth and be equipped to deal with my child in the appropriate way. I would rather know.

Karen

Wow, that's really sad. I've been reading your blog for quite awhile and it looks to me like your daughters share lots of good times together and have lots of fun making wonderful memories. It's a great thing to have a sibling to share your childhood with. I wish the reader could focus on that. Lots of mothers have rough starts with their new babies or children and ALL mothers have rough moments and days they can hardly get through, but, like you said, that doesn't mean the good times don't far outweigh the bad ones.

Emily

I've never commented here, but I feel like I really want to say something.

I'm a young attorney in my mid-twenties. I have known I wanted to adopt my entire life, and realized it would be somewhere in Asia by the time I was 18. I know I will adopt one day.

I stumbled across your blog and have been following for several years. I can tell you without a doubt, your blog is one of the reasons why I know I want to adopt once I'm ready to add to my family. You have an amazing family and you're obviously a great mom! I like that you show both sides: the good and the negative. I get frustrated with blogs that do nothing but present butterflies and rainbows and fairytales and smiles. That's not how life is. There are triumphs and there are hard times.

A professor told me one time, "There is no strength where there is no struggle." How true.

Your blog is an inspiration not only to other adoptive parents, but to people like me who know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that adoption is in their future.

God bless,

Emily :)

Tammie

Sandra,

There is no way that your blog made this person decide to stop her adoption proceedings. It is sad that she put it to you that way. This person just isn't ready to add to her family or may even feel her family is complete for now.

The best thing about your blog (aside from allowing us to keep in touch all these years) is your honesty & openness about life.

PADS is a real problem. You've gone through it & shared your experiences which I'm sure has helped many families. Making the decision to go for CI for a hearing impaired child is hard. Allowing us to go on that journey with you was an honor because you could have kept it just within the family. I've learned so much from you.

The way you have chosen to share the good & bad in life is what makes you the person you are. I can't imagine you any other way!

Keep it all up! We love & appreciate you!

Beth S.

Wow. I actually pop in on your blog to see how positive it can be to bring home a sister! Sorry to read what happened. We finally received our referral for our second daughter after waiting over four years (LID 4/21/06). Our older daughter in beyond excited and so are we! I grew up with 2 sisters and 2 brothers so my dream for our daughter is to have that experience. Sure, it will be an adjustment for all of us but it is one we are looking forward to having.

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