I ran 17 miles during training this past Saturday; the most miles I have ever ran. It was also my most difficult day during my training so far. I felt so good the week before when we did 16 miles, but I was not feeling the love this past Saturday. My legs were SO tired and around mile 12, I really hit a wall. In fact, the other people in my group started calling me sailor, since I was saying a few choice words ;-)
I was really struggling and wanting it to be over so badly. Then we came across the building that used to house Ohio Valley Voices. I recently blogged about my emotions when I ran by it for the first time in a long time during one of my other training runs. It was very emotional. So when we ran by it again this past Saturday I had a little moment and cried. I cried because I was so tired and knew I still had about 3 more miles to go; I cried because of all the memories coming back; I cried because I wanted to be DONE. I had to dig really deep to keep going. But then I thought about all the times that we've pushed Jazzie. All the things she's had to endure to get to where she is today...
Her first surgery:
Countless of doctor's appointments afterwards:
Hundreds of hours of speech therapy and aural rehabilitation:
All the times Jazzie fell asleep on the floor, on the couch, in the car and everywhere in between because of getting used to and being overstimulated by her cochlear implant:
Being exhausted because of her brain getting used to all the different sounds:
And still we pushed her. We decided on a second cochlear implant even though Jazzie cried over it because she was so afraid...
I thought of all of that on Saturday and how we have been pushing her for years. And that is when I dried my tears, told myself to suck it up and to keep going. I told myself that if Jazzie can go through all of this, I can run for three more miles. Giving up on Jazzie has never been and never will be an option. Giving up on finishing my miles was not going to be either, so I got myself together and ran the remaining 3 miles.
This Sunday is my first official half marathon and by God, I am going to finish it.