So the girls came home last week with a PTO Fundraising packet. They were asked to sell magazines, wrapping paper and other stuff. There are prizes for the students that sell the most and there are class prizes for the class that sells the most. The other "prize" is a silly lanyard with a penguin on it which the students can earn by bringing 7 names and addresses of friends and family to school who will then be contacted to see if they want to buy magazines.
I just HATE these type of fundraisers! I hate them for many different reasons.
I was so upset that the school chose to allow our children to be so blatantly manipulated in this PTO fundraiser. I would not have been bothered if the PTO had sent home a request for a donation. I would have been happy to write a check. Matt is a board member at Ohio Valley Voices, so we are well aware of the need for fundraising and we've been happy to support other fundraisers in the past. But to bring in a third party company sales person, and have all the kids in the school attend an assembly (which takes away precious learning time) where the adult "Mr Money" does a sales pitch, to me is totally uncalled for. And while he did not ask for their money, it seemed like it was a high pressure sales pitch, similar to the approach used to sell timeshares.
They manipulated the emotions of the students so that the parents will feel forced to give away personal data of friends and family or have their kids be treated like a failure at school. If the kids don't get at least 7 names for the mailing list, every student in the school will know they are a failure because they don't have the lanyard with a penguin on it. They won't get any prize posters. They won't get to see the magic show. They won't get to go on a limo lunch.
Tahlia just cried and cried because a large number of her friends have a penguin lanyard and she will not. The sad thing is that it's through no fault of her own, but because we as the parents have chosen not to participate. She does not understand that most of the money goes to this fundraising company, not even the PTO. Or why giving away personal data is a bad idea in this day and age.
My concern also is that it creates a very negative social environment for those not participating. By giving out the lanyards, the school has singled out the students who's parents didn't participate. This causes social pressure from the other students who do have a lanyard. I'm sure that the PTO members and the school staff are not being negative towards the students without a lanyard, but they have created the circumstance to support the social "bullying" as a result. If one student doesn't sell enough or doesn't sell at all, the entire class is affected and may not win any prizes. It really puts those children who don't participate in a negative category.
I was talking to a friend who's daughter's school is doing a similar fundraiser. The reward there is that students who sell can come to school without a uniform. Wow, that really makes it very easy to tell who didn't participate. My friend felt forced to participate in order to protect her daughter. This is SO wrong!
I hated seeing Tahlia cry and I was tempted to go ahead and send in some names, but that was the whole point. I refuse to be "bullied" into giving away my friends' and family's personal information and ask them to buy things that their own children are already trying to sell. We talked with the girls about how we feel and I have exchanged several e-mails with the principal, the PTO president and the person in charge of this fundraiser, so they are well aware of what Matt and I think about this.
Jazzie seems to understand what we're saying and doesn't really seem to care one way or another. Tahlia however is a different story :-) I love my girl so much and I want her to have the world (including a stupid penguin lanyard), but I also want her to know and learn that when you think that something is wrong, you stand up for it.
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Posted by: shoe drives | Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 02:32 AM
We has this last year at my daughter's school. Kindergarten no less. She was in tears also because we opted out. They had some company come to the school and took the kids out of class for an assembly to hawk their junk. I was furious. I had to explain to my daughter that we would write a check directly to PTO instead of asking other people for money to support the school - our family doesn't ask other people for money. I also explained to her that this company took a part of the donations for profit. This went on constantly the whole year in one form or the other. My son is in middle school and they just ask for donation - no selling. It is a calculated ploy by these organizations because they know the little ones will cry to their parents and it will cause pressure for the parents to participate. I informed the principal that I thought it was a completely shameful thing to do to small children. I was furious that a precious 5 year old would come home "indoctrinated" by an organization - and I had no control over it!!! This was one of the main reasons we chose to send her to private school this year. They obviously fundraise, but it is done through parental involvement - not pressuring small children to raise money for their school. I know it might sound like I am overreacting, but I was outraged that the public school had the ability to take my 5 year old out of class and pressure her with promises of a t-shirt and rubber arm bands to ask other people for money!! (they wanted the kids get people to sponsor them to run a 1/4 mile around a track at the school!!) It is completely OUTRAGEOUS! Sorry I just had to vent - I am still mad about it.
Posted by: Denise | Friday, September 14, 2012 at 11:36 AM
Agreed. I cannot stand all the fundraisers that come home. We do not do them either.
I too would be happy to write a check.
Stay strong!
Posted by: Heather | Wednesday, September 12, 2012 at 02:15 PM
I feel so bad for all the kids. There's so much pressure for so many things and the last thing they need is more of it from forced fundraising. The schools talk so much about trying to stamp out bullying but then turn around and do things like this that encourage it. It's pretty awful to tell a kid they won't get a prize or get to be with their friends at a party if they don't sell enough.
Last I checked kids went to school to be educated not to learn to be salespeople.
Good for you for speaking your mind! Things will never change if brave parents don't stand up to say how ridiculous this whole thing is.
Posted by: Angel | Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 09:05 PM
Been there, both as a parent and classroom teacher. I disliked it greatly.
The worst was when my first grade son came home, hyped by an assembly, saying that he was going to sell enough spices to get his own TV. He cried all evening and all the way to school the next day. He teacher kindly accepted our declining to sell, but it was still very awkward.
Our best fundraiser became small groups of teachers volunteering to work in the concessions booths at the ball park ten nights a year - Go Diamondbacks! It was voluntary, somewhat fun, and no students or parents were pressured or humiliated.
Stick to your guns. :-)
Posted by: Barb | Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 08:02 PM
Good for you! As a teacher currently on leave, I know this happens all too often and it's maddening. I can't stand it. The amount of fundraising that goes on is ludicrous! And the style of fundraising drives many teachers nuts as much as it does many parents. Now, as a parent of an almost 20 month old, I know what the future holds and will be taking the same stand that you're taking now. Again, good for you!!! Thalia might not understand it now, but one day she'll appreciate it.
Posted by: Paula | Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 07:03 PM
As a former teacher, I remember these well. The PTO or student council or whatever group brings in the sales team, is generally completely ignorant of your concerns, and is really looking for a way to "build school spirit" and get the cash. Personally, I agree with you 100%; way to stick up for your beliefs and instill them into your children.
Posted by: Kristen | Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 06:24 PM
I am so shocked at reading this Sandra....and although our little girl is only 2 and obviously not at school yet, I have never heard of schools doing this kind of thing here in the UK.
I would react exactly the same way as you have!!
Posted by: Debbie | Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 02:59 PM
I agree! When my girls were in public school, we did not participate in fund raisers either.
Posted by: Joy | Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 01:55 PM
Long time lurker de lurking.
Well done you for standing firm on this. This type of social pressure makes me mad. It is so exceptionally unfair and shouldn't be allowed.
Google penguin lanyard and there are many pretty lanyards that might lessen the sting for your youngest that only cost a few pounds. If she is desparate for one that is. She will appreciate the stand you took when she is older.
Fee
Posted by: Facebook | Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 01:27 PM
Wow, you are singing my song. Our elementary and intermediate schools do this same type of thing big time! I can only tell you it gets a little better in middle and high school. Then they just come right out and ask you for the "donation", which I'm happy to give when I have it. Most of the time though it becomes the group (band, sport teams, etc) that are in charge of their own fundraising efforts, which is much better for me. I want my kids to go to school to learn, but not to become door to door salesmen.
Posted by: Julia | Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 12:47 PM
Well said and well done for sticking up for what you believe in. Coincidentally the very same ridiculous fundraiser x2 was sent back with my girls yesterday...BLANK!
Posted by: dawb | Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 12:08 PM
I agree. I refuse to participate in any of the selling stuff fundraisers at my daughters school. I threw theirs away the day they came home with it. My daughters only had to sell 5 things to get to go to the assembly or something like that, but with 2 daughters its really 10 things. I was the PTO co president last year and the amount of money made by these sales is not even worth the time and effort. For our school the money was used to buy something for a classroom and not something for the whole school. We also have an upcoming sale for cookie dough and I will not do be doing that one either. The best fundraiser I found that I was disappointed with our school for not promoting was a discount card. It was a card that had 20 different local businesses that would offer discounts you could use for a year. The card was $10, but $7 of every card bought went to the school. Easy and sellable fundraiser that had no pressure. Good for you guys for standing up.
Posted by: Jennifer C | Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 12:06 PM